Apron is 9 feet long. Wheelbase is 8 feet apart. The car barely fits on the apron that I permitted and paid for. On garbage pickup days, my wife and I tend to have the car overhang more on to the sidewalk than the street as this allows the refuse company easier access to our garbage container with their claw (as on the day I was ticketed). For the rest of the week, our tail overhangs in to the street. Our driveway is short and my wonderful (sarcasm) father-in-law hogs the drive. He’s the purple Crown Victoria.on the right of the attached picture. Thus, I widened the driveway.

I’m sure by now you’re thinkin’ “That’s just tough luck for you fella. Park one them cars in the garage like every other normal American.” I politely retort, “There is a car AND a motorcycle already in there.” The other car is for the little woman to take the kids to doctor’s appointments while I go to work that does not grant paid sick leave.

If my vehicle is still in conflict with village code my choices are:

1. Buy out father in law’s half of the mortgage. I have to stop buying the losing lottery ticket.

2. Replace car with smaller one. I have two kids. Not gonna happen there.

3. Move away and let the parking problem become someone else’s. That solves the father in law problem and parking.

4. Convince father-in-law to downsize his car. There’s no reasoning with insanity. He’s still in the 70’s. He thinks bigger is better and the “Man” is after him. He hasn’t filed taxes in 10 years! Lucky scofflaw. He boasts the insurance industry is a scam. It blows my mind how he gets away without having car insurance for so long. The car isn’t even his. Last time I checked, you have to have a license to get insurance. Hint hint nudge nudge.

5. Park my car sideways. A possibility, but then I end up with neighbor’s car double parked behind me and I can not get out.

I am open to suggestions. Your help would be appreciated.

My final point. I am an average Joe and do not cause the village trouble. If my house is in need of repair per village inspection, I fix it. I put up with all the ruckus from the fire boys getting a new house over the summer. I do not complain about the fire boys playing with their loud toys Saturday morning. I deal with fire boys wailing there sirens at my house when they leave their driveway in a justified rush. I did complain to public works when they were watering Barrington Road with their shiny new sprinkler system. I was on my motorcycle when my right side was freshened up at 40 miles an hour.

I am feeling a little singled out by Officer Ross. Did he run out of citations while on my street that morning? Look at the pictures please. My car is the grey Chevy.